Waved at people a lot.

Bathed less regularly than I’d imagined I would in the circumstances.

Thanked God this wasn’t happening when my children were any younger, when every day started at 5am and I struggled to even get through some weekends. Thought about everyone who has young children and is holding it down. Thought about people with babies. Thought about people living on their own.

Gave thanks for the postal service every single day. Felt grateful to all my friends and family who sent packages and cards and letters because my heart lifted every time the postman walked up to the door. Thank you.

Had to smoke out a pigeon that had been stuck, flapping and slowly dying in my chimney for a week and then watch my ex husband wring its neck to put it out of its misery. Tried not to see it as too portentous.

Remembered that while things can feel hard, I’m very lucky and, being honest, I’ve had holidays that cost quite a lot of money that I enjoyed less.

Planted a veg patch. Upped my egg cup game.

Made a lot of Mexican food. Dolloped sour cream on anything it was vaguely legitimate to dollop it on. Bought those bags of avocados that you have to wait days to ripen at home that I usually don’t have the time or patience for, and they happily went soft and delicious.

Thought, in principle, about a lot of outfits so that I’m not caught off guard when the time comes. Put my big coats away and got my macs out. 

Watched one of my colleagues wearing a suit jacket in his living room on Zoom and felt relieved that someone had set a precedent. Still haven’t done it, but it’s nice to have the option.

Lay on my back doing Pilates and observed all of the utterly disgraceful looking bits of my living room ceiling that need dusting and then redecorating. Opened the door to that cupboard under the stairs and glanced despondently at the 19 different paint tins, all of which have probably got 1 inch of paint left in them. Closed the door, poured a drink.

Played a lot of Scrabble and didn’t achieve any word score over 18 points.

Hosted Friday afternoon drinks with my team and watched their smiling faces framed by bright blue skies in their back gardens. Felt good.

Gave thanks for Dolly Parton.  

Struggled massively to acclimatise to the clocks change.

Listened to Roxy Music’s first self titled album on repeat and cried every time If There Is Something came on.

Cried a lot less though. Argued more.

Lectured my children regularly about how it was wrong to argue and how it was more important than ever to “pull together” and “support each other”.

Threw a lot of pencils onto notepads with exasperation trying to explain how to convert units of measurement while on Zoom.

Achieved an increase of 42% in my average screen time v previous week. Didn’t do the maths, but imagine I achieved a similar percentage increase in my calorie consumption.

Had anxiety dreams about not making my train connections. Missed train journeys. Missed long car journeys listening to Brakes. Missed planning my packing list for Glastonbury extremely prematurely while knowing I would actually throw it all in a bag at the last minute. Missed dancing outside of my kitchen. Missed getting my coffee in the morning. Missed croissants.

Enjoyed music. Roy Orbison, Lucinda Williams, BC Camplight, Sharon Van Etten, Ty Segall.  

Worked on the view through the window into my front room to cheer people up who were walking past. Raised my blinds to help with waving.

Watched Girls Season 2, Episode 5 after many years and then watched it again immediately. Watched a lot of Keith Floyd. Watched the entire Steve Martin 1979 stand up routine twice.

Started to worry about how I will return to normal.

Noticed a lot more turkeys than usual for this time of year in the shop, like people really are seeing this as some sort of never-ending Christmas.

Worried a lot. Didn’t sleep sometimes. Worried about doctors and nurses and teachers and people who work in all the shops and everyone I love. Worried about my parents and if they were safe.

Felt like I had it worse than everyone else. Felt like the luckiest person in the world.

Cut my fringe after 3 gin and tonics.

Gave thanks for Bill Withers.

Tried to remember that one day this will be over.

Follow @fishlill on Instagram for daily Isolation Observations

Share
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •